The Needs Makes Even The Timid Brave

essays Jun 1, 2020

Hello reader,

Today’s post is special, and does not follow the usual Sunday schedule. Hopefully you’ve been enjoying my writing so far, but I am going to make a hard swerve and talk about things other than ongoing real-life issues that have become a recent theme here on Courage: To Question.

I know it is going to disappoint some of you, as you have complimented my previous work. However, there is a very good reason for this. And that reason is mental health. We'll come back to this.

The media cycle is currently engaged with a lot of issues happening domestically (in your respective countries) and internationally (mostly USA). The constant pumping of graphic imagery is a stark reminder that there are many injustices in the world today.

Kindly note that systemic racism can still happen in a non-white country. But this is a good way of explaining things in a succinct way. Moreever, it does not negate that non-white people can also be racist.

Let's hone in on protesting for a bit. There are many around the world that critique protesting in general. However, peaceful protest is only effective if there is a credible threat of violence underneath. I know some of you will bring up Martin Luther King Jr, Nelson Mandela, and Mahatma Gandhi as examples of non-violent protest. However, I would suggest you look up these people and how their views change regarding violence (from pro-violence to non-violence and vice-versa). Plus, there were not the only factors that contributed to initiating wholesale change in their respective regions.

History has shown that violence or something that creates violent reactions, unfortunately, is the language that ultimately creates change. Think of the French Revolution, think of how women ultimately got suffrage in many places by showing men that they can’t function without them, think of the effect of colonialism on countless places. Hell, think of how many elements of the United States (and some Western powers) have used violence to change whole fortunes of nation-states in their favor.

Occasionally a regime steeped in violence can be successfully confronted via peaceful means, but those are exceptional cases. - Benjamin Ginsberg.

Since the pandemic started, I have consciously disconnected from most of the internet. Only stepping switching on my Wi-Fi or 4G connection for a few days, before stepping out again. This has worried people and/or made me seem as if I can only show up when I need something.

Constant communication is something we’ve grown way too accustomed too. And it can get overwhelming.

In my past romantic relationships, I have been accused of being a people-pleaser and perhaps not caring enough about them. My problem is that I care too much, and I try not to show it (to avoid being advantage of).

I have spent, and continue to spend, a tremendous amount of energy caring about humanity as a whole. I try to uplift where I can, and I often donate in silence (sometimes even when I know I need the money for basic necessities). But it is impossible to keep this up continuously.  Doing so in the past, led me to become increasingly nihilistic and even more conscious of my cultural displacement (which I will talk about far off in the future).

I will never get in the way of those doing their best to enact positive change, and I will support where I can. But for now, I need to take a step back again and worry about things within my locus of control that I may have the power to change.

I often do not say anything because my opinions are attacked either because:

  • I come from a privileged middle-class family;
  • I am not from -insert country here-;
  • I am not black enough.

These are all arguments I have heard my entire life.

But, my silence does not mean I do not care. My sharing of funny images and playing video games does mean I am not sensitive or empathetic to people’s plight. Be that as it may, I really do not want to step close to the ledge of suicide again. I hope you understand. And I hope you all teach me to better, because I know I have made many mistakes and will continue to do so in the future. Being human, right?

The revolution is being televised, but it will take many more years of sustainable efforts for things to change for the better. Be careful with misinformation. Verify your facts, even if they come from trusted sources.

And TAKE CARE of yourself.

I’ll be talking about the PlayStation 5 next time, and how I am excited about that. Probably.

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